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Lamb Leaves Pasture

by Deerest Friends

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Lamb Leaves Pasture CD. CD label by Charlie, inside tray card art "arranged" by Francis, back cover by Milo and Sofia, front cover by Julia and Francis helped a teensy bit

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1.
Water revitalizes Every old faded scar Remembered by frostbite Caught on a dead sinking star Dress like the thin air Double as highways Volumetric expansion Till you dress like you're leaving Snow slides between my fingers Rusting under my nails I am still sinking Striding towards falling apart Dress like the thin air Double as highways Volumetric expansion Till you dress like you're leaving
2.
White bear snowy eyes dim glowing Let me be your wife Breaking every quill you get your heavy paws on And I'm still hiding in your chest You can find me if you need My pearly thighs to make a tent for your head My grasp's so strong cuz you're gone there's a hole in my bed Tears roll off my chin when he asks "are you the same with anyone?" But they weren't tears it was piss down my leg it runs Warmly down my thigh like blood that I can't bleed swirls slowly Around the drain with your spit from my mouth that I kept safe I hope that when we go away you don't look back on me as A bouquet of black orchids to line a grave with your weary hands I could hold them in mine That's why my Neck's a place to rest your paws You can hold me to your claws There's a shovel, and a map An unplanned funeral I guess Your spine untangled from mine And you left me how you left me So unbearably But you can't help me get through this pregnancy My baby, I'm a baby And I can't stop this wailing I'm still finding the things I lost Everything I thought Scattered in tumbling hands I'm not mad I'm just jealous of what I don't have
3.
Pee Shy 03:05
When the tree fell outside your doorway Did it cast a shadow? Did it's leaves sway Or did it just keep you in So we sleep inside our own coffins And eat our severed limbs for breakfast We are the arm cutting itself off at the shoulder But we have blood running through us We are naked but we are strong White of your eyes Quickly turn red Staring at the fire I put a whisper in your head Dry leaves crackle like twigs Under the weight of your crossed legs Armful of letters I let them goooooooooooo- So we huddle hands around the heat lamps warming comforting glow (oooooooooo) (bruise on your knees) And sink our feet into the sand that we know will swiftly sink us low (bandage on your arm) Into the cave eaten alive air pocket closing no one survives (you are the) And we won’t either we're not exceptions to the rule but I know (pollen on the bees but i know that) That you know you and I will be eaten alive By sharp teeth Sharpest I have ever seen
4.
My skin is an armor Made of empty melted down glass bottles I’m tired of falling Every time I step out of this vending machine My eyes are embedded With the coldest bottle caps I’ve seen the inside of Seen the inside of (It’s hard to move your arms with bandages on) Somehow the fan’s sucking all cool air out of this room Gray light white walls, it’s irrigating outside fumes Window sickle mounts would be fickle flyers So I’ll count the years in seconds And every second in this year Compress your lungs The notes have sung This is as far as saints can go Compress your lungs The notes have sung This is as far as saints can go
5.
Our tendencies: opposing mirrored withdrawals It hardly took eyes to paint you into your walls Recessive excess, modify the dead on deaf ears You're alive in the bills tucked under the register In half smoked cigarettes marred by divorce We'll drum up sense to it just to fall in line behind Arranged atop split stairs judged by our frigid things I only know my sound of your voice now You're alive in the bills tucked under the register In half smoked cigarettes marred by divorce Plastic silver straw to suck down bloodied dust Bled out guilt, left it to inherit Ascension's a remembered gesture You're damned to stick around Whispered cry You swear you're satisfied Why fight this
6.
(piano and cello)
7.
Bucking Stag 04:27
I’ve got a match and some gasoline I’m gonna burn down the tallest man I’ve ever seen Better than seeing you mummified in Tyvek But it won’t guide my severed head back to my neck Sometimes I stare down that 5 horned stag With a knife in my backpack It seems so much like it’s getting bad But you’re not dead, you’re just in a hospital bed With deadly eyes I make angry marks Over your shoulders and elbows, set a fire in the clothing pile cuzzz oooooooooo Oooooo It’s too much effort to bury I'm a baby in a blanket of bleach And you can't help me get through this pregnancy So I’ll go out smothered and wailing So I'll go out like you did when they bashed your little brains in Sometimes I go out on my own Tear up the floorboards of my old home The snow’s so bright, I avert my eyes Cuz in the cold Everything dies You’ll never know what you missed now I'm grown up
8.
Can you hear me? wonk I no dehcrep si kcal siht sredluohs ym ot no kcab dehctits dna deppots s'ti litnu llor lliw daeh dereves ym wonk I dna smra nepo evah I tub prahs era slliuq ym wonk I dna wolg gnitivni sti dna esuoh ruoy fo epahs eht wonk I dna wolf laitnerrot sti dna taorht ym ni hsag eht wonk I
9.
Sea Foam 04:06
Sea foam riding winter waves Next month won’t be the same Breaking ice against the sea wall You know I know it couldn’t ever be your fault But still I cry and bring blood rushing to my face The fangs beneath your tongue And lungs which now consume the night sky Will bite And breathe me in It didn’t make me feel special But I felt warm In the rise of your chest I found my home Double dog dare me to scare me and interweave Your teeth you've slashed and sunken into me Cold fingertips and claws an endless freeze In too deeply When I was shaking the hardest you ran the bath for me Comforting smiles overtook how I could drown so easily (If you'd let me, could I put something nice in your IV?) Feeling nauseated, your voice is spiders down my back When the water ices over I'll be buried at the bottom This is my final failure Chemicals going nowhere “Here are my hands” I said going numb, I finally let you win
10.
I am holding your insides Like nothing happened at all Blowing out that lantern glow Dig my head into the snow A pen clenched in my fists Through the ink I felt The shape of what I’d missed Tangled up in frost and flame (finding out on the freeway South) My burnt skin gets worn away (it doesn't matter now, you're a ghost in my house) Revealing my weight in mud (we left our heads and lost our minds) Leech out all my wasted blood (and that's why we die!) I’m such a freak just leave me be (Sew stitches ‘round my neck) Your guilt is coursing out of me (Drag your claws across my back) Can’t comprehend your dithering (You're bursting out of me) Maybe I’ll die in my sleep tonight (Shame the person I can't be) Dearest friend how can I begin to tell you My hunger can’t be satisfied I devour. Cannibal; You will be eaten along with me Pry the fork out of my back, and put it in your neck You don’t have to be dragged down with me You deserve to be happy So I’m taking help because I can no longer stand to be myself I know the gash in my throat and its torrential flow And I know the shape of your house and it’s inviting glow And I know my quills are sharp but I have open arms And I know my severed head will roll until it’s stopped and stitched back on to my shoulders this lack is perched on I know my body’s cold Can’t you see how I’m not holding up?
11.
Standing with all my weight on the freeway It doesn't seem so far now I hold onto these hard feelings without arms extending out Like the trapper releasing his prey or on the interstate tearing up on fathers day At the end of April 2009 we knew you were already dying Too young to get it but the sight of your body rotting mortified me Ohhh Christ I pretended not to care At your funeral I wished I could've joined you there This feeling is the hardest thing The guilt and relief when you were released Sometimes you've made me want to kill myself With the medications that won't help And it's hard to recognize that I'd rather been able to stand beside Than never have had you in my life And when you died you didn't think of leaving anything behind Last week I dreamt every night I found something you wanted me to find Ohhhh Christ, I pretended not to hear That voice in your songs, the only way of having you near This feeling is the hardest thing When I read about me in your diaries If love is watching someone die I’d watch you die a thousand times
12.
And with the last bough falling down onto the ground A cloud of dust sweeping over the brush The flames and a reflection of me in a puddle of gasoline I get that look in my eyes because I see your face looks just like mine So I've grown up now Now I'm nobody's son And throughout I've thought I could make you proud I haven't cried about it Cuz now, I think I've figured it out With you decomposing aaaaaaaahhhhh It's not so hard To move on

credits

released June 9, 2023

Mixed and engineered by Francis Brazas
Mastered by Ethan Twiddy

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Deerest Friends Chicago, Illinois

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