1. |
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Water revitalizes
Every old faded scar
Remembered by frostbite
Caught on a dead sinking star
Dress like the thin air
Double as highways
Volumetric expansion
Till you dress like you're leaving
Snow slides between my fingers
Rusting under my nails
I am still sinking
Striding towards falling apart
Dress like the thin air
Double as highways
Volumetric expansion
Till you dress like you're leaving
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2. |
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White bear snowy eyes dim glowing
Let me be your wife
Breaking every quill you get your heavy paws on
And I'm still hiding in your chest
You can find me if you need
My pearly thighs to make a tent for your head
My grasp's so strong cuz you're gone there's a hole in my bed
Tears roll off my chin when he asks "are you the same with anyone?"
But they weren't tears it was piss down my leg it runs
Warmly down my thigh like blood that I can't bleed swirls slowly
Around the drain with your spit from my mouth that I kept safe
I hope that when we go away you don't look back on me as
A bouquet of black orchids to line a grave with your weary hands
I could hold them in mine
That's why my
Neck's a place to rest your paws
You can hold me to your claws
There's a shovel, and a map
An unplanned funeral I guess
Your spine untangled from mine
And you left me how you left me
So unbearably
But you can't help me get through this pregnancy
My baby, I'm a baby
And I can't stop this wailing
I'm still finding the things I lost
Everything I thought
Scattered in tumbling hands
I'm not mad I'm just jealous of what I don't have
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3. |
Pee Shy
03:05
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When the tree fell outside your doorway
Did it cast a shadow? Did it's leaves sway
Or did it just keep you in
So we sleep inside our own coffins
And eat our severed limbs for breakfast
We are the arm cutting itself off at the shoulder
But we have blood running through us
We are naked but we are strong
White of your eyes
Quickly turn red
Staring at the fire
I put a whisper in your head
Dry leaves crackle like twigs
Under the weight of your crossed legs
Armful of letters
I let them goooooooooooo-
So we huddle hands around the heat lamps warming comforting glow (oooooooooo) (bruise on your knees)
And sink our feet into the sand that we know will swiftly sink us low (bandage on your arm)
Into the cave eaten alive air pocket closing no one survives (you are the)
And we won’t either we're not exceptions to the rule but I know (pollen on the bees but i know that)
That you know you and I will be eaten alive
By sharp teeth
Sharpest I have ever seen
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4. |
Tin Bottle Cap
03:51
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My skin is an armor
Made of empty melted down glass bottles
I’m tired of falling
Every time I step out of this vending machine
My eyes are embedded
With the coldest bottle caps I’ve seen the inside of
Seen the inside of
(It’s hard to move your arms with bandages on)
Somehow the fan’s sucking all cool air out of this room
Gray light white walls, it’s irrigating outside fumes
Window sickle mounts would be fickle flyers
So I’ll count the years in seconds
And every second in this year
Compress your lungs
The notes have sung
This is as far as saints can go
Compress your lungs
The notes have sung
This is as far as saints can go
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5. |
Bitter Piece of Shit
05:12
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Our tendencies:
opposing mirrored withdrawals
It hardly took
eyes to paint you into your walls
Recessive excess,
modify the dead on deaf ears
You're alive in the bills tucked under the register
In half smoked cigarettes marred by divorce
We'll drum up sense
to it just to fall in line behind
Arranged atop
split stairs judged by our frigid things
I only know
my sound of your voice now
You're alive in the bills tucked under the register
In half smoked cigarettes marred by divorce
Plastic silver straw to suck down bloodied dust
Bled out guilt, left it to inherit
Ascension's a remembered gesture
You're damned to stick around
Whispered cry
You swear you're satisfied
Why fight this
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6. |
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(piano and cello)
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7. |
Bucking Stag
04:27
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I’ve got a match and some gasoline
I’m gonna burn down the tallest man I’ve ever seen
Better than seeing you mummified in Tyvek
But it won’t guide my severed head back to my neck
Sometimes I stare down that 5 horned stag
With a knife in my backpack
It seems so much like it’s getting bad
But you’re not dead, you’re just in a hospital bed
With deadly eyes I make angry marks Over your shoulders
and elbows, set a fire in the clothing pile
cuzzz oooooooooo
Oooooo It’s too much effort to bury
I'm a baby in a blanket of bleach
And you can't help me get through this pregnancy
So I’ll go out smothered and wailing
So I'll go out like you did when they bashed your little brains in
Sometimes I go out on my own
Tear up the floorboards of my old home
The snow’s so bright, I avert my eyes
Cuz in the cold
Everything dies
You’ll never know what you missed
now I'm grown up
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8. |
My Little Love
03:26
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Can you hear me?
wonk I
no dehcrep si kcal siht
sredluohs ym ot no kcab dehctits dna
deppots s'ti litnu llor lliw daeh dereves ym wonk I dna
smra nepo evah I tub
prahs era slliuq ym wonk I dna
wolg gnitivni sti dna
esuoh ruoy fo epahs eht wonk I dna
wolf laitnerrot sti dna
taorht ym ni hsag eht wonk I
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9. |
Sea Foam
04:06
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Sea foam riding winter waves
Next month won’t be the same
Breaking ice against the sea wall
You know I know it couldn’t ever be your fault
But still I cry
and bring blood rushing to my face
The fangs beneath your tongue
And lungs which now consume the night sky
Will bite
And breathe me in
It didn’t make me feel special
But I felt warm
In the rise of your chest
I found my home
Double dog dare me to scare me and interweave
Your teeth you've slashed and sunken into me
Cold fingertips and claws an endless freeze
In too deeply
When I was shaking the hardest you ran the bath for me
Comforting smiles overtook how I could drown so easily (If you'd let me, could I put something nice in your IV?)
Feeling nauseated, your voice is spiders down my back
When the water ices over I'll be buried at the bottom
This is my final failure
Chemicals going nowhere
“Here are my hands” I said
going numb, I finally let you win
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10. |
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I am holding your insides
Like nothing happened at all
Blowing out that lantern glow
Dig my head into the snow
A pen clenched in my fists
Through the ink I felt
The shape of what I’d missed
Tangled up in frost and flame (finding out on the freeway South)
My burnt skin gets worn away (it doesn't matter now, you're a ghost in my house)
Revealing my weight in mud (we left our heads and lost our minds)
Leech out all my wasted blood (and that's why we die!)
I’m such a freak just leave me be (Sew stitches ‘round my neck)
Your guilt is coursing out of me (Drag your claws across my back)
Can’t comprehend your dithering (You're bursting out of me)
Maybe I’ll die in my sleep tonight (Shame the person I can't be)
Dearest friend how can I begin to tell you
My hunger can’t be satisfied
I devour.
Cannibal; You will be eaten along with me
Pry the fork out of my back, and put it in your neck
You don’t have to be dragged down with me
You deserve to be happy
So I’m taking help because I can no longer stand to be myself
I know the gash in my throat and its torrential flow
And I know the shape of your house and it’s inviting glow
And I know my quills are sharp but I have open arms
And I know my severed head will roll until it’s stopped and stitched back on to my shoulders this lack is perched on
I know my body’s cold
Can’t you see how I’m not holding up?
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11. |
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Standing with all my weight on the freeway
It doesn't seem so far now
I hold onto these hard feelings
without arms extending out
Like the trapper releasing his prey
or on the interstate tearing up on fathers day
At the end of April 2009 we knew you were already dying
Too young to get it but the sight of your body rotting mortified me
Ohhh Christ I pretended not to care
At your funeral I wished I could've joined you there
This feeling is the hardest thing
The guilt and relief when you were released
Sometimes you've made me want to kill myself
With the medications that won't help
And it's hard to recognize that
I'd rather been able to stand beside
Than never have had you in my life
And when you died you didn't think of leaving anything behind
Last week I dreamt every night I found something you wanted me to find
Ohhhh Christ, I pretended not to hear
That voice in your songs, the only way of having you near
This feeling is the hardest thing
When I read about me in your diaries
If love is watching someone die
I’d watch you die a thousand times
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12. |
A Forest Fire
04:28
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And with the last bough falling down onto the ground
A cloud of dust sweeping over the brush
The flames and a reflection of me in a puddle of gasoline
I get that look in my eyes because I see your face looks just like mine
So I've grown up now
Now I'm nobody's son
And throughout
I've thought I could make you proud
I haven't cried about it
Cuz now, I think I've figured it out
With you decomposing aaaaaaaahhhhh
It's not so hard
To move on
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||||
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